So as the title states, I discovered something new that I didn’t really consider about.

I’m not tooting my horn, but I learned I’m unique enough and attractive enough to attract very handsome guys and magnitize nerds to me like flies towards the bug zapper.

Okay, so met a gothic nerd and we dated for 4 weeks, he was mofo flippin hot. To give you an idea, think Patrick Dempsy, or click the link and just stare for a bit and go wow, ho did pretty good.

[link]

So on Monday this week, I got a phone call from Mr. Patrick Dempsy lookalike and he said we should see other people. Mmkay, my initial reaction was ‘So who is she?’, and I wasn’t mad, dissapointed, but not mad. I like the guy enough to stay friends with him and I took it pretty well. So surprised as he was that I wasn’t gonna kill him we left it on that note. After this I get constant phone calls and txt messages from a friend of my ex who is blatantly trying to date me, initiating the metaphysical of my magic as a witch and his own spiritual beliefs to keep in constant contact. He’s sweet, but I know with all my heart that I will not date him. He’s feeding me all the things that would keep me interested in a relationship, bondage, magic, gaming, etc.

I’m a hardcore nerd fetishist, I love me my nerds. I seriously can just listen to hours about a nerd go on and on about the statistics of his character for DnD or the different theories of one sword fighting style to another, I live for the passion they have accumulated through study. And despite this guy being super nerdy and fun to be with, I can only see him as a friend. I’ve made it clear that we are friends but he constantly pressures me and I’m trying not to loose it.

I was completely depressed on Tuesday, cause being dumped and being hounded by this guy was just not really working well for me. I decided to turn to that which calms me. I prayed to my patron goddess, Venus. I am a love witch and though I’ve helped others find their path, I cannot fortell my own nor can I mingle in my own fate. So I prayed, for it was a plea where my heart, torn, was breaking from the past loves I hold within it who denied me. Being dumped by my ex merely sunk me into that self examination stage we go through to figure out what the hell is wrong with us that we can’t keep a person’s interest long enough for a relationship. I will endlessly love Shade, Rob, and Paul, they hold a special place in my heart, I wish for nothing but happiness since that is what is most important to me. I could care less how much they’ve hurt me, so long as they have what they need and want. I couldn’t figure it out and so with nothing left to ponder I left it up to Venus’ will. I prayed to her that she would grant me the chance to find someone who would again occupy my heart and heal the parts of my being that has been hurt from the dealings of others.

Wedsday morning comes, I have taken the day off from work to attend the military graduation ceremony of my best friend who I’ve known since 1st grade. I put on my usual pair of slacks and notice that they are loose. So having time, I go downstairs and step on the scale and lo and behold, where I once weighed 178lbs, I’m now 168lbs. I go upstairs and look at my stomach, holy hell, it’s flatter. I haven’t been eating as much and working at my job, lifting and moving around has obviously assisted me in this dramatic hope of being slimmer than overly pudgy. Brownie point for me. So there’s a pick me up from the crappy emo days I’ve had.

I set off in my car to drive downtown which is a good 20 mins from my house, upon arriving at the base, I realize I’m driving without my license. They won’t let me on base without it and I can get arrested and have my car impounded. So unable to back up, I’m forced to talk to the officer at the gate and I’m just about to have a breakdown, because for the past few weeks, cops have been pricks to me. So though I’m late to the graduation, the cop is amazing as hell and lets me on the base after running my number through the system and seeing I’m not a psycho. Another point for me.

So I drive across the base to the auditorium and stand, watching my blonde friend walk the stage and feeling pride that she’s done something that most people are too afraid to do, whore themselves to the government. But here she is, an official combat medic. Had to wait an hour before I could hug her and give her my congrats, she had to get paperwork done, so I’m figuring food is calling me. She gave me a call and tells me that I have to meet a battle buddy of hers, saying how much he reminds her of me. How he’s a flippin nerd and all this stuff. Drove by where they were and saw the two waving at me as I passed in my obnoxious yellow car. Managed to buy a stuffed bear and a card for my friend on her special day.

She calls me and tells me to come by and see her. So I go and give my lil soulja girl a hug and then she introduces me to Devin.

Me and him start ragging on my friend about how much shit and bags she has to pack up in the minivan. The girl had about 2 bags of just shoes, me and him are laughing and saying how she has more stuff than anyone on the base. Next conversation jumps to how he gives good massages, he decides to show off by massaging my hand. He’s a combat medic, but he wants to be a massage therapist/physical therapist...anyway, I made a comment about how I’d love to have him work on my back and he turns me around and starts to massage me, but my shirt is kinda killing the healing. So I murmured that we should go in my car and I should take off my shirt and he bolts and starts pulling me towards where my car is and I just shrug it off and follow. I was modest, I held my shirt and bra infront of me as he worked on my back, and it felt sooooo good. Hannah (my friend) jumped in the front seat and we talked and she mentioned about wanting to go to the hookah café, which I’m becoming a regular at nowadays. Devin wanted to go, poor guy didn’t know there was some fun stuff to do in S.A., so we invited him to come along.

Hannah promised her dad to go and get food with him, and I had to run to my house to get my driver’s license. Hannah asked me for a favor to drop off another battle buddy at the airport, and I was fine with it. So my car, colored like a taxi, became just so. I drove off the base with Hannah in front, the dropoff and Devin in the back. Went over about 10 mins away to drop Hannah off at the resturant where her dad was and then left with Devin up front and the dropoff in the back to the airport. Me and Devin dropped off the other private and then we headed towards my house. We’re talking and getting to know eachother, he’s learing a bit about my family, I’m learning about his. We get to my house and I go upstairs to change and get my license, he’s downstairs talking to my mom. Everything ready to go, Devin and me leave the house and we head back towards the resturant. Along the way, Hannah is calling and yelling at me in her ghetto accent to come pick up her ass...since she can’t stay in one place we now have to head over to the WAMU bank which is about 5 miles away from the resturant...which we both were at. During this trip, both me and Devin exchanged our first kiss as well as a few other kisses and trade mark maneuvers which were kept minimal due to Hannah calling me and me driving.

We picked her up and she starts undressing in the back seat of my car, like a mirror image of myself, both me and Devin turn around and start ragging on her at how good she strips and all that. It’s apparent we think the same in perverted nature, another brownie point...for both of us. It’s running to about 2 and I have to drive back to the airport to pick up my dad who left earlier this morning around 5am to New Orleans for a company diagnostic exam. I had to pick him up at three. So we headed off and went to the airport, me and Devin are constantly flirting and he’s tickling me at stoplights and I’m trying to fight him off...good fun. When dad calls me I go pick him up and we proceed onward, again, to my house. Devin gets to talk with dad, mom talks with Hannah, I’m playing hostess with drinks and cleaning up my room. I also had to grab some pants and a shirt for Devin, since he was wearing his army uniform and both me and Hannah were in street clothes. He’s my size so it worked out great.
After talking with my parents, I invite them up to see my room. Hannah tried my new bed, of which she fell asleep on it. Devin, still in his uniform, and I manage to test out values a bit. The instantaneous lust and desire was tempting us more sweetly than the snake to Eve. And leaving it at that, we both managed to win and keep things orderly. We woke up Hannah and left the house to grab food at Taco Cabanna, cause that place is a Texas original and Devin had yet to eat there since his start of training. We ate and then it’s decided that our next destination is Planet K, since the Hookah is no fun during daylight. Hannah is also decided to be the driver as me and Devin ride in back, cuddling and breaking past 1st, 2nd, and 3rd into the midway of homerun. We get to Planet K and Hannah decides she wants to take a call on her phone, so me and Devin go inside and shop around and act like a couple. We look like one by now.

Hannah comes in and asks for another favor, can we pick up a friend of hers and then drop him off later on the eastside of town. She said she pay the gas, I’m going sure, you can drive. So while having ample oppurtunity to do stuff in the back, me and him simply fall asleep on eachother, and it felt so good. We pick up her friend and head over to the Hookah.

Arriving, I’m still being hounded by the other guy, him asking me where I am, what I’m doing. I tell him we’re heading to the Hookah and he’s asking if he can come, so after deliberation amongst the party, I said yes. He asks if he could bring my ex and my ex’s new girlfriend, I go sure. Cause hell, I’m not playing innocent now either.

They arrive and my other friends drop by and join the massive nerd group/goth gang thing. Hannah and her black guy friend get hungry and take the taxi to get food. I get to meet my ex and his girl and she’s cute as hell, but she’s 15 and he’s ten years older than her. So forgive me for not being in the prime of my jailbate years anymore, but yeah, hey, whatever floats your kinky boat. She’s cute and I’m nice and offer her a smoke and yeah, they do their thing. Devin, me, Chris, Russel are having a blast with seeing who can inhale the longest...I won and have video to prove it, oh yeah. Let me kill myself the way I want, I had the best time doing so.

By this time, Devin and I are flippin hyper so we decide to walk around the parking lot...stopping to see Ronia at DQ, her work, and then walking back to the café and Devin and I’s refilled Hookah. We stay a bit longer, talking, me and Devin kissing and taking pictures of eachother, kinda getting sad since we have to end the night by 10 cause I fudged up my curfew previously. We grab Hannah and her boy and we say our goodbyes. We head down the eastside of town, Devin and me riding in back where we proceed to give into temptation that’s been biting our heels all day long.
By the time we dropped off Hannah’s friend, we were heading over to Devin’s hotel, cause as fate would have it, the day I meet him, he has to leave to go home to florida the next morning. He’s constantly saying how sorry he is that he didn’t meet me earlier and how he has to leave and I’m sad. We hugged and kiss for the last time that night, I was sad to watch him go, but his butt looked so good in my pants of which he stole to remind himself of me.

We promised to keep in contact with eachother and so far, we’re doing pretty good with AIM, and him calling and txting me randomly. What gets me is how even after me and Devin were acting together, the guy so eager to get with me is still hounding me to try and do a relationship with him when it’s clear I hold no such interest in him.

Either way, I truly had the best day of my life with Devin. He’s handsome and we have so much in common it’s like we’re counterparts of eachother, I’m in sheer bliss that he’s been in Florida, that he exists. I’m waiting and eager to get to know him better, I know I can fall in love with him, he has such an amazing personality, but I’ll do what I can and allow the lady to will it so if such feelings can blossom within him for me. Right now, we’re learning eachother and being friends.

And I’m happy with that more than anything. He wants to visit me as soon as possible, and I him. And though he’s stationed in Georgia, I found it kinda funny since his station isn’t that far from where I want to go to college. Fate has been cruel, but she’s kind in more ways than one. Hopefully this is an answer to all that I’ve prayed for, or at least a stepping stone.

oh yeah, guess what, got two other guys after me to in addition to the nerd...holy cheese and crackers....but I'm kinda on one mindset at the moment, hehe!

-Sel-

This message is brought to you by Sel-chan, your local neighborhood weirdo!